It's been quite some time since I have written anything here. The issue that is most on my mind as of late is an issue that comes up far too often, respecting yourself, and each other. I said early on I wasn't going to use this particular blog as a soap box for day to day bullshit, and I don't intend to start. Like with anything else I think there is a lesson to be learned here.
I have learned a lot over the years about how I want to treat people, and how I wanted to be treated by people. I can easily say that its only in the last year that I've really come to see myself as a person of true value, that deserves to be treated well. Even that, with the issues of depression can be fleeting.
What I don't understand, even when you don't agree with someone's ideas, beliefs, or life is a public call to arms against them. A war cry to defeat an enemy that may not have directly affected you in any real way makes no sense to me. Even if the person affected you directly, than fight them directly. I do not see the need to insight a riot. Perhaps its just being used to standing alone.
Worse than the best defense is a good offense is the rallying of those who have "peaked in high school". People who's best days were truly when they were teens and the only way they can make themselves feel better is to tear down the other people around them, or to summon the same rallying cry to the people who have also peaked in high school. Granted, many of those guilty of this in my mind (taking into account the online community) are little more than high schoolers, which makes it so much worse. What kind of role model is the 20-something bully to the youngsters around them? Maybe I'm sensitive to this because I was the kid who was bullied, but it seems ridiculous to me.
Whats even more interesting is that the people in the community who sing the praises of online respect, that cried the loudest when they were the subject of the attacks are the ones now insighting riots, the ones hurting others. "Respect Online" is little more than a battle cry for those who like to hurl stones then cry when they get thrown back. It makes me sorry and sad to be part of the community, and yet I come back for more, growing more disgusted with them and myself by the day.
What I know is this, when I was briefly the one who was hurling insults, (a brief period I am not proud of), I felt poorly. It made me angrier in general, and made me feel bad about myself. It made me reflect on the days that I had been picked on. I still lapse into the occasional mean moment, as everyone has their weakness, mine comes when dealing with the stupid mostly. (At least in my opinion, and not very respectful) but I can at least be well aware that I don't use my distaste for someone as a rallying cry for mass hate.
We need to treat each other, all of us as unique individuals, that each have value, that each have something to share. Respect online and off is not something to be commanded, its to be earned. In action and in speech. This is what we need to learn.
